Manifesto for posting online

Burn the old rule books. Keep warm by the fire.

1. Your time and attention are not public property. You get to spend them however you see fit.
   

2. Just because somebody shouts loudly in your inbox does not mean that that they are entitled to be heard. Often, it is in fact a good indicator that they are not worth listening to.
   

3. Refuse to tolerate passive aggression. I mean, it is literally a form of aggression. We shouldn’t even have to question this.
   

4. Just because you have a ‘platform’ (a spurious notion to begin with - don’t even get me started) does not mean you owe your voice to whoever makes demands of it. You do not have to draw attention to every charitable cause and global disaster equally once you pass some magical follower threshold. You are not a news broadcast station with a team of 50. You are just a regular human being.
   

5. Making a mistake does not mean you have to endure the criticism of strangers. Nope - not even if you fucked things up big time. What can be gained, once you’ve understood your error, from bludgeoning yourself repeatedly over the head with the rage of random strangers? They are there for the drama, not for the growth.
   

6. Refuse to outsource your opinion on all matters of the heart. Never trust anything more than yourself (or, when appropriate, a credentialed expert).
   

7. Take feedback and criticism from those who love you, who see you and will always tell you the truth. Learn about your errors and grow, but feel free to do so in private. Your life is not performance art.
   

8. Cultivate a zero tolerance policy for dickheads. What’s that? Deciding who is a dickhead is entirely subjective? Well of course it is - just like in real life - but we don’t hold a public forum to decide whether every raging stranger gets to come and sit on our couch. You get to make your own mind up about people, and be as arbitrary and unflinching as you like. There’s still plenty more internet for them to troll.
   

9. Sell your work. Ask for payment. Market your magic. Refused to be shamed for asking for fair renumeration. Cheerlead for other writers doing the same. Yes, of course it is rubbish that we cannot all afford everything, everywhere, all of the time, but that doesn’t mean we should all simply work for free. In fact, doing so massively undermines and undercuts the entire industry of writers and is bad for the arts.
   

10. Show up to work and do your job. If that means posting online when world events are unfolding, then by all means, post online. Nobody expects office workers or shop assistants not to go to work. You still need to eat. You still need to pay for your children’s shoes. So do your work, and if people complain about it, refer back to points 4 (not news) and 11 (just block).
    

11. Block without warning. Mute liberally. Don’t offer up explanations.
    

12. Let people be wrong about things - about facts, about politics, about you. Leave them to it. Learn to walk away from and let it all go. Remember that arguing on the internet is like running as a Tory MP in a a local by-election. Even if you win, you’re still one of life’s losers.
    

13. Guard your energy fiercely. Spend it only on those who meet your standards and tastes. There will be many, many dickheads who want to take up your time and bandwidth, so consider it in monetary terms: Answering this dipshit is going to cost you £100. Do you like them enough to spend that on them? Does this conversation matter enough?
    

14. Pour your love into the good ones. Find the people who match your values and show them how much they count. Grab onto people who love like you do and give them all that you can.
    

15. Create from generosity, from excitement, from passion. Tune out what everyone else is doing around you. By its very nature, it’s already been done.
    

16. Trust the vibes. They always know.

17. Consume more than you create. Consume whatever it is you want to create - art, literature, interiors, comedy - from unlikely and unusual sources. Love on it all.
    

18. Post like you can’t see the numbers. Audience-focused, not audience-led, as my pal

    Jen Carrington
    likes to put it.
    

19. Use this handy filing system when receiving shitty feedback:
    
    📂 Random Commenter

    └📁 Opinions

    └📁 Fucks given

    └ 📁⚠ This folder is empty
    

20. Make space for all of your creative facets in one place. Resist the temptation to file all of your beautiful parts into separate boxes. Let it steep together and mingle, like a magical floral tea.
    

21. Never underestimate the terrible taste of the general public. Shell suits happened. The mullet actually came back. Most people would prefer you to be an indentikit loaf of sliced white supermarket bread, but we know that all of the goodness is in your funky sourdough starter mix.
    

22. Refuse to respond to subtext. If somebody has a problem with you let them explain it to you. Sub-tweets, passy-assy references, hoards of flying monkeys… They’re all signs that it’s not a big deal to them. If it matters, they’ll be direct. Address it if and when.
    

23. Stay kind. Yes, that’s still in there: we will not let the crispy, desiccated hearts of our haters make us equally cold and cruel. We will, however, reserve our kindness for those worthy of it, and for ourselves, on a regular basis. It is hard to maintain a soft underbelly in a world of sharp objects and words.
    

24. Act from generosity, every time. If ever in doubt on the right course of action, simply ask yourself: what is the generous thing to do here? Then do that, and enjoy the warm glow that comes from working in alignment with your higher values. It is safe for you to be generous and loving. Refuse to squat with the angry in the gutters of fear.
    

25. KINDNESS POTATO 🥔❤️

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Anything I’m forgetting here?

What rules for showing up on the internet are you ready to leave behind?