32 Comments

Love this so much Sara. Thank you for posting. x

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Thank YOU, my love. For all of the things!

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This was profoundly timely, Sara. Thank you. Something that dawned on me as I was reading this is that it is actually unfair of me to place so much power to sway my life on other people. Even those who are well-meaning should not shoulder the burden of having that much power over my life. I certainly wouldn’t want that much power myself. I wonder if not trusting myself, rather than being an act of humility, is in fact harming me AND the people around me. Epiphany moments. All that to say, thank you for sending this exactly on time (for me).

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SUCH a good point! What a huge responsibility it is for us to plonk our entire self worth into someone else’s lap and ask them to take care of it for us. I feel bad enough asking my neighbours to cat sit! 😂🙈

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If only the likes of Musk could take a fraction of his misplaced self confidence and bottle it, he might make enough money to cover his spectacular Twitter losses 😂 Brilliant article as ever Sara, it really made me think.

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Now that would be REAL genius. Although I’m not sure I want any part of Elon in me, not even his confidence 🙈😂

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🙈😂

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Thank you for this. Deeply needed in my current season of life.

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With you, love ❤️

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Beautifully articulated and very thought provoking... thank you for questioning why and how we seek validation 🙌🏻

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Thanks for reading Debi! x

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What a beautiful message Sara. I fret sometimes about the gravitas offered to idiots and blowhards .I also worry that somehow there is a car wreck type of fascination with these empty vessels of humans. Maybe we are just aware of it more now and its always been there. Holding tight to our own personal meaningful kindred spirits seems so essential -particularly for us creatives. The bully in the schoolyard always was given too much power.

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It’s true - I myself find it really hard to look away from the slow-mo Musk car crash. I think we’re seeking some sort of reassurance at the root of it, that rule and order exists and that we can predict the outcomes for these unpredictable chaos agents. But somehow they never seem to fully fall and we just end up more twitchy and afraid.

We need better role models all around, really.

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Wow Sara, this is such a sincere and thought-provoking piece. Twitter is oozing with toxicity right now, I'm so glad this wonderful corner of the internet exists to counteract it. Thank you x

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This is so spot on! And I have been thinking so much about Elon and Trump - where do they get that self-confidence to move forward and not get in their heads. Perhaps a pigheaded confidence, a mind palace of self-righteous. And I think why can’t I have 0.001% of that? It would be enough. So yes, trust your own voice, make it a mantra and start believing. Thanks for this Sara! 🤍

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This was wonderful and really perfect for me to read on this actual day! I’ve had to back off from even asking my closest family - who’s always supported me in a vague sense - for feedback after realizing what I’m doing isn’t for them. Either they’re the wrong audience for what I’m creating or something else, it’s become clear if I need input or validation, it’s gotta be from the “right” source that I trust for that purpose. Otherwise, I do *me* ✌🏼

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It’s a minefield isn’t it? All of that love and protection stops those close to us being able to ever really be impartial. (Or all that resentment and projection, depending on the family at hand 🙈). We’re so programmed to want that approval but of course, the only approval that really scratches the itch in the end is our own. What a swizz! 😆❤️

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Thank you. Needed this. Xxx

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You’re in my thoughts all the time Merenia x

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Love this Sara! I literally only got twitter on my iphone so I could tweet and chat in the instachat last year 😆 📱

I can’t go on it at all now it’s just so ugly over there it upsets my nervous system.

Last time I was there I read some really sad threads from ex staff members who I hope are all doing brilliant things elsewhere online now. ✨

PS - the photo of your daughter though?!! 💜💜💜 just stunning!

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Aw, I lured you into the lion’s den! Im so sorry! Hoping to revive the insta chat it here in Substack Chat (or notes??) very soon though!

I’m hopeful that we’ll see beautiful innovation on other platforms as a result of the untimely Twitter staff exodus. All that talent has to bubble up somewhere, right? Maybe even here on Substack!

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Ps yes! Orla is my self-confidence role model!

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Ahh yes it would work in either but probably better in notes? Just because it’s more public and it’s easier to manage and reply?

I just feel with chat it’s not quite living up to it’s potential and people are confused about how best to get/ keep a conversation going? For me notes is more accessible?

Haha don’t worry re the tweets - I have learnt so much about what feels good for me online now.

When I took the Insta retreat I was less bothered about Instagram but I’d just always wanted to take the class. It was just perfect for me as it refuelled my storytelling online and it’s so well put together.

I guess that’s what it all is isn’t it - us finding ways to tell our visual and word based stories and chat with community on whatever platform works for that. 💜✨

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I can only do Twitter in very small doses now, and I deliberately keep my list of follows short and keywords muted. It's just too triggering otherwise.

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Good to hear Louise - what do you do about that right hand panel that tells you the news or horrible trending things?

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If I look on my phone I don't see the panel, it's only there when I look at it on desktop. On days when I have a lot going on and I'm using my laptop I use Tweetdeck - which is an app for laptops where you can customise what you see. Although since Musk took over Twitter it doesn't work as well.

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Ahh because i have to go on for a commission I look after... hmm maybe I need a spare phone!

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I'm not sure but I think given the subject you get a pass from Godwin's Law! X

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This is a perceptive post, EM was the inspo behind one of the characters in my novel, Earthly Bodies 😅😅

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Any accusations yet of him being too awful to be real? 😆

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So good 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 thank you!

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I've really been struggling lately with seeking outside approval, and second guessing whether people - particularly colleagues and peers - like me, or think I'm doing a good job. I tend to seek out proof that they don't - what's that called -evidence bias? Where you already believe something, and therefore only see 'evidence' that back up that belief. Anyway, thank you for this, I can actually pinpoint the moment where I started to doubt my self belief - and it did actually involve some caterwauling! Trying to shake it all off, and ask myself... do I like me? Am I happy with the work I have done? Do I meet my own standards (and are those standards, possibly, a little too high?).

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